November 3, 2009
Networking: why there is a need for cable
Everyone is so concerned with networking. We have endless career services panels on networking. Well, unless you meet someone and fall in love, and this love translates into they will run away with you and employ you forever, I do not know how you will impress someone unless the uncle-nephew nexus exists.
I went to an excellent Halloween event this weekend. The host was a very accomplished and worldly man who said he may be able to steer me in an appropriate direction. He asked me to mail him a letter expressing why I was unique. In light of this, I wrote said letter with a witty tone instead of the normal cookie-cutter style. If nothing else, I can now blog about this experience.
Dear Mr. X,
Thank you very much for meeting with me this past weekend. I am very interested in your practice and would like to participate in a legal capacity when I finish my JD this year and sit the New York and Massachusetts bars. I have attached my CV and a photo as you asked. I could describe my work at school and abroad, though it would not express why I am so unique. I will thus espouse a more descriptive approach:
1. I am a profoundly brilliant woman. I have attended six different institutions of higher education in three different continents and recall several of their names.
2. I am an expert at risk management. I have hitchhiked from Hanoi to the border of China, all the while having a conversation in Mandarin with the 1982-Volvo driver about our families to instill and foster an ultimately self-preserving human connection.
3. I think win/win. I always invest in Phillip Morris.
4. I have the capacity to subside threats and tame opponents, even if it involves marauding combat. I throw javelin competitively and imagine I would be an ideal tribal warrior.
5. I am diversely talented and creative. I have written several screenplays. I have faith that my break will be coming shortly.
6. I seek first to understand, then to be understood. I listen to NPR and communicate solely in tongues.
7. I am persuasive and charming. I can seduce a man with a single glance and a cobra with two.
8. I have a captivating presence. I am so stunning there are rumors that I am the real body double for Julia Roberts on the cover of Pretty Woman.
9. I put first things first. I have never returned home with dinner and no wine.
10. I emulate desire. Children adore me. Women envy me. Men have sculpted statues of Hindu deities in my likeness.
11. I do not accept commonly acknowledged limits. I see the laws of physics as suggestions.
12. I am proactive opposed to reactive. I open the neighbors’ bags of trash and sprinkle them on my lawn before the raccoons can do the work themselves.
13. I am compassionate. I consider the Kennedys to be misunderstood.
14. I know when to heed caution. I have swum across Lake Champlain though merely skipped stones on Loch Ness.
15. I begin with the end in mind. I have a photo of myself in front of my retirement cottage mounted proudly on the wall. I was prosecuted for trespassing shortly thereafter the shot.
16. I offer honest appreciation. It is too bad some consider it to be obsessive stalking. I told him I was the only one who would ever love him.
17. I practice balanced self-renewal. I will be delighted when stem cell application is lawful and I no longer have to do this under the radar.
18. I have a positive mentality. I am certain Armageddon is just around the corner.
19. I appeal to noble motives. I regularly call on colleagues to utilize their skills and let themselves shine, ultimately challenging the sun’s stronghold on the market. Monopolies are anti-competitive and exclusionary.
20. I have attained self-actualization. Thank goodness for EBAY.
I hope you are interested in hearing more. I greatly appreciate your consideration.
Jennifer A. Lincoln
3L Day (Class of 2010)
BA in History from Trinity College, Hartford, CT
Jessup International Moot Court team, 2008-2010, Human Rights in Action (HRIA): United Nations International Criminal Tribunal for the Former Yugoslavia (2009); Phi Alpha Delta (PAD) legal fraternity; Hearsay newspaper staff; International Law Society (ILS); Student Animal Legal Defense Fund (SALDF)