May 16, 2009: And in the End…

May 16, 2009

And in the End…

Recently my favorite show, Scrubs, had what is hopefully its series finale. Scrubs debuted in 2001, and just wrapped up season eight, so while it did not perfectly match my seven years in undergrad and law school, it came pretty close. I mention Scrubs because it was a comedy about self-discovery and growing up. The characters are largely childish, in a fun way, but over the seasons they accept adult responsibilities and mature, even if only slightly. I like to think that I’ve undergone a similar process. Certainly almost everyone grows up a little in undergrad, or at the least changes. I, however, think I have changed the most since I’ve come to Pace. No, I don’t believe I “think like a lawyer” any more than I did before I came here, save for my jokes becoming more nuanced in a different dialect of nerd (“It’s 10 o’clock; do you know where your statutes of limitations are?” “Dude, I adversely possessed your girlfriend last night.” “What’s your favorite kind of vodka? Fee Simple Absolute!” If you are prospective student reading this, don’t worry, you’ll understand those jokes soon.). I also don’t see myself in a suit every day, though that is happening anyway when I start as a judicial clerk in September. The growing up has happened in bits. Perhaps more accurately, I’ve learned what it will take to be an adult, and I will leave here with some knowledge on how to make it in this grown-up, professional world.

To some of you, this post must sound a bit sophomoric. Doubtless many of you will be older than I am now when you start school, and have real world responsibilities already. This reads more like a high school manifesto than a law school blog. That’s the rub; in my eyes, in the eyes of so many of us, we are still kids. Now we are kids with law degrees. We’re kids that are going to make a difference, to affect our world, our legal system. If that’s not terrifying, I don’t know what is.

I’m not happy with this entry. It’s scattered and I don’t really know what I want to say. Though this will not be posted until Monday at the earliest, it’s Saturday, May 16, right now, and I graduate tomorrow. I’m not ready for it. I’ve been preparing for the inevitability of this day for months, and I still cannot stand it. I don’t like goodbyes, and I will be leaving a lot of people here. I love the community I have here. I love my friends. I’ve had a great run at Pace, and I’m not ready for it to end, and nothing I write here will change that. I intend to blog some updates about life in the so-called real world while I am clerking, so hopefully this is not the last you will hear of me. For now, parting words? This whole year has been a collage of advice and last thoughts, but if I have to sum it all up, I say this: Have fun, smile, and above all else, do what you want to do while you are here, not what you or someone else thinks you should do. Don’t build a resume; make great memories.

I apologize for my own failing words, but my mind is too scattered this week to produce anything better. With that in mind, I leave you with the words of my aforementioned television model:

"Endings are never easy. I always build them up so much in my head, they can't possibly live up to my expectations, and I just end up disappointed. I'm not even sure why it matters to me so much how things end here. I guess it's because that we all want to believe that what we do is very important: that people hang on to our every word, that people care what we think. The truth is, you should consider yourself lucky if you even occasionally get to make someone, anyone, feel a little better. After that, it's all about the people you let into your life."